Today’s Dating Dilemma: AI or Authenticity?

October 25, 2023
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Written By:
October 25, 2023

‘How did you two meet?’ A commonly asked question couples face in contemporary social environments. While our parents have likely met through mutual connections, a significant share of modern love stories start with a digital Cupid in the shape of dating apps.

This month, we delve into the world of online dating. The universe of swiping, matches, love stories, and terribly cheesy opening lines. For those seeking momentary pleasure or a long-term relationship, online dating is the go-to tool for the next gen (and actually, everyone else in the modern, western society) to connect with potential partners. Of course, there are too many apps to mention, but while Tinder was the most popular in the past decade, nowadays, Bumble, Happn, Grindr, and HER have become just as relevant.

For those in search of selfie tips or catchy one-liners, I have bad news. This article is not for you. Today, we will swipe into the influence of AI on online dating. AI is not only used for matchmaking but also serves as a chatbot. Can you imagine it? That charming guy or lady you’ve been chatting with for days is actually an algorithm that gets to know you better and better through machine learning. Not very appealing, is it? Let’s examine the technology and see what it has in store for the world of online dating.

Source: Jonathan Hercus

Ethical concerns of AI-driven dating

The integration of AI into dating apps sparks a cascade of ethical examination, with a spotlight on biases. These matchmaking algorithms, the backbone of countless dating platforms, can inadvertently sustain society’s ingrained biases related to race, gender, and social status. This all stems from the data upon which they have been nurtured. Consequently, these digital matchmakers may not only struggle to provide accurate recommendations but also accidentally reinforce longstanding cultural stereotypes and norms. It’s a concerning issue, to say the least.

Now, let’s introduce AI-driven chatbots into the mix, as complexity is the name of the game here. As you explore the landscape of AI in dating, you might find yourself engaging in conversations with these computer-generated companions, blurring the line between interacting with a human or just a simple bot.

AI-driven chatbots, while promising convenience and engagement, come with their share of potential dangers. One significant concern is the ease with which these chatbots can be used for malicious purposes, such as catfishing and identity theft. With the ability to generate convincingly human-like responses, chatbots can deceive users into forming emotional connections and sharing personal information, which can then be exploited for fraudulent activities. Additionally, as AI technology advances, there’s the risk of deepfakes and manipulated content being used to impersonate real individuals, further blurring the line between genuine human interactions and AI-generated simulations. This not only erodes trust in online dating but also poses security and privacy risks for users who may unknowingly engage with bots, believing them to be authentic potential partners. It’s essential to remain vigilant and cautious when interacting with AI-driven chatbots in the dating landscape to avoid falling victim to these potential dangers.

With that said, let’s get back to the biases. The industry faces a significant challenge in taming ethical issues and reducing biases. To ensure integrity in the dating world, it’s essential to promote transparency, fairness, and comprehensive user education. However, there is still a long way to go before we can achieve this.

AI bots in the practice of online dating

An increasing number of people are turning to chatbots, lured by the promise of quick solutions and a remedy for social discomfort. Tools like and are easily accessible to assist with a range of interactions. To be perfectly honest, initiating a conversation can sometimes feel as challenging as solving an expert-level sudoku puzzle. We all have that one friend who’s incredibly outgoing and can strike up a chat about anything, right from scratch. Let’s face it, not everyone possesses that skill. This is where AI tools, like the ones mentioned above, step in to offer a helping hand when you’re feeling uncertain about how to kick off a conversation.

Don’t be mistaken, there are numerous individuals leveraging AI tools to facilitate their chats. Picture this: these tools work like a charm, and you’re heading out on your first date. What’s the plan then? We recognise that these tools might be valuable if you’re unsure about initiating a conversation on an online dating platform, but ultimately, you’ll find yourself relying on your own instincts.

Nonetheless, the landscape extends beyond mere casual conversation. The widespread use of fake videos, courtesy of Midjourney and Google Colab, has made it surprisingly easy to mimic real people or even craft AI-generated characters capable of deceiving even the most alert observer. The thing here is that this trend has become a fertile breeding ground for tricksters and individuals with twisted intentions, resulting in a higher incidence of identity theft. We may find ourselves dealing with AI-generated dialogues and even AI-created personalities. It’s time to pay close attention

If you’re curious about how effortless it is to create an AI influencer, this video by Mr. Lemon explains it in remarkably simple terms.

Source: Pinterest

Dating an AI bot, for real?

Let’s go a bit deeper into this rabbit hole. Some individuals intentionally opt to date AI. Believe it or not, as we ventured into the world of AI chatbots, specifically designed for love and companionship, we came across “Replika.”

“Replika,” conceived by Luka, is far from an ordinary chatbot. It serves as your go-to for text-based conversations, offering a unique fusion of emotional support and companionship. It’s like having a virtual therapist in the palm of your hand. Replika engages in conversations on various topics, recollects your previous discussions, and responds with empathy and support. Available as a mobile app, it has gained popularity by offering a lifeline of companionship and therapy through text exchanges.

At first glance, it appears rather charming. However, the deeper you delve into it, the more peculiar and strange it becomes. Beyond Replika, a ton of AI bots are revolutionising the conventional dating scene. With the increasing prevalence of deepfakes, the rise of robotics, and the capability to create your personal digital avatar, you may soon find yourself in an entirely surreal world. Envision putting on a VR headset, select your “wanted character” and, well, let your imagination do the rest.

Source: Replika

When it comes to the question of whether to opt for AI-accompanied dating or stick to the traditional route, the answer isn’t straightforward. AI-driven dating holds the promise of more effective matchmaking, aligning you with someone who shares your interests, values, and even your quirks. It offers a new level of convenience and expediency in meeting potential partners, ultimately saving you time and effort in the quest for love.

However, we must acknowledge the ethical concerns that arise. At times, engaging with AI-driven dating feels more like interacting with an algorithm than a genuine human being. The specter of biases in AI recommendations looms large, potentially leading to a depersonalised and inauthentic dating experience.

We are increasingly recognising the rise of loneliness and mental health issues, particularly among the next generation. Immersing ourselves deeply in AI-driven chatbots for matters of the heart, raises valid concerns, especially given the ongoing challenges associated with aging (read our previous insight on Generation Alpha). While we’re intrigued by these technological advancements, it’s essential to exercise caution.


On the other hand, the traditional route offers real human connection. It’s about meeting someone in the real world, sensing that chemistry, and nurturing a connection that goes beyond data and algorithms. This path may be slower and less efficient, but it often leads to more genuine and emotionally fulfilling relationships.

In the end, the choice between AI-driven dating and the traditional approach hinges on your personal preferences, values, and what you seek in a relationship. Some may discover success and happiness in the algorithms, while others relish the unpredictability of real-world encounters.

The landscape of dating accommodates both AI and traditional methods, recognising that while technology can assist, the most profound connections often take root in the most unexpected places, whether online or in the real world.

So, as you embark on your journey in search of love and connection, which path will you choose?

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“How did you two meet?” A commonly asked question couples face in contemporary social environments. While our parents have likely met through mutual connections, a significant share of modern love stories start with a digital Cupid in the shape of […]